BAYONNE, NJ - When Ann Coulter decided to give her life partner, Michelle Bachmann, a gift for their Valentine’s day she wanted it to be special… really special. She decided that conventional treats such as Mediterranean cruises, gold watches, cars, a murder-mystery weekend, or even a boob job just weren’t going to cut it. She gave him something much more personal — and painful… her virginity.
Well, sort of. Ms. Coulter paid $5,000 to a cosmetic surgeon to stitch her hymen back together so she could “lose her virginity” all over again and her partner would have that thrilling conquest at the grand age of 48.
She did, and after that very expensive moment the ecstatic couple spent a passionate Valentine’s weekend last year having the kind of sex that they had almost forgotten about. Now they are busy telling family, friends and strangers that it is the best money they ever spent and everyone should do it.
“Now my sister is thinking of becoming a virgin again for her 48th birthday to surprise her boyfriend, Clarence Thomas, Associate Supreme Court Justice, Ms. Coulter gleefully, as she sits in her palatial family estate in San Antonio, Texas, talking unabashedly about such intimate matters.
She is not the first to choose the operation — a hymenoplasty — to repair the fragments of skin forming the traditional “gateway” to the vagina, years after originally losing it to Mike Huckabee, former Governor of Arkansas as a twelve-year old girl, (They had planned to marry).
Women have resorted to backstreet hymen repair for centuries in religions and cultures in which marrying as a virgin is sacred and losing your “maidenhead” before matrimony can mean shame, or even being put to death. But an increasing number of women such as Ms. Coulter are now electing to be “revirginised” using modern techniques as a purely cosmetic or lifestyle choice, to “put the sparkle” back into their relationships or give their life partners a surprise.
They usually opt also to have one of the new “designer vagina” procedures, such as tightening up of the vaginal canal slackened by childbirth, or the cosmetic trimming of enlarged labia.
“I have affluent upper-class ladies coming in from Manhattan, getting ready for a second-honeymoon cruise or something like that. Or some women had a disappointing time the first time they were deflowered and now they have found someone special they would really like to give it up to,” says “Dr.” Mike Pence posing as a gynecologist and plastic surgeon who has a “specialist” clinic in Bayonne, New Jersey. He performs ten hymenoplasties a month.
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