LANGLEY, VA – Former Governor Sarah Palin, 56, who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved John Thune’s penis, police said.
The clerk at the store outside Langley actually microwaved the penis (Thune’s penis, was brittle and had an offensive odor, police say), and used to cheat on drug tests by the thousands, police said Friday.
The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when Palin in drag as Thune entered the store and asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," according to an account Ms. Palin later gave police.
Palin (Thune) asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said Langley Chief Dirk Bogard.
When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to Palin and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Bogard said, and it was, not Thune’s but Rove’s, according to Palin.
After news reports Friday, Ms. Palin called police to say she was Thune in drag, in the store and gave her account of what happened, Bogard said.
Ms. Palin told police she was applying for a job as a long distance truck driver and was required to take a drug test. She said she posed as Thune and had filled Rove’s small penis with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test, Bogard said.
According to Ms. Palin, Palin stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Bogard said - that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.
Bogard said the C.I.A. wasn’t sure why Palin posed as Thune and was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia since it is common knowledge that Thune has no penis of his own.
Bogard would release Palin, the only name of the charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible, he said.
The clerk at the Giant Eagle store "still visibly shaking," Bogard said.
Giant Eagle, which owns the convenience store, said the microwave would be discarded.
Most Risible.
ReplyDeleteAlso an English incarnation of you.
He, also unaccountably, has almost no commentators.